Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Life is Beautiful
"'Am I still a mother, as I have no child with me...' My reply is this, 'If you held a child in the womb you are a mother, and I can think of no one who deserves that accolade more, then those who have had to give their child back'."
I am blessed. Sometimes I find it hard for me to say that because of the recent heartaches in my life. But when I stop and look at the whole picture that's when I know it's really true.
I've suffered two losses in the past 6 months. It wasn't a close family member or even someone I knew. They were little beings that blessed my life when I discovered them as they were growing inside of me. Miscarriage, is a term every knows and uses. Yes I miscarried, twice. But to me I really lost two babies.
Sometimes I feel weak and lonely, and like there is no hope. But when I can feel love surrounding me that's when I know I can make it through.
I know I am not weak, because I am here moving forward even after these trials.
I know I am not alone, because there are so many who have gone through the same experience and even worse.
I know there is hope, because every day I am reminded of it by those who love and care about me.
It's painful in every aspect, but I'm a believer that these things happen to us to make us stronger then we were yesterday. To help us grow into what we need to be, what we are planned to be. It's not a punishment, it's a learning experience. And if you know these things to be true, then you can get through anything with the help of your loved ones, and of course your Savior Jesus Christ by your side, for he suffered through it all.
Ultimately though, it's my husband who I seem to have the most gratitude for. Because he has had to go through these losses too, but along the way be the strong for me. My husband is my buoy, who keeps me afloat when I need him through the roughest storms. I am thankful every day for him. How wonderful is it to have someone so special, physically by your side day in and day out.
Life can be unbearable sometimes, but if we take a deeper look, looking past all the troubles and see how blessed we truly are, we will see that Life is Beautiful.
Love, Jessie
p.s. You really know someone is looking out for you when a little girl comes to your undeveloped and hidden neighborhood selling CHOCOLATE. Oh yum.
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Jessie,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your losses. I too had a miscarriage before I had Andie. I know that nothing anyone says can help with the heartache. I didn't know it then, but after losing my first pregnancy I became more and more aware of the women around me who are suffering and struggling with conception. Miscarrying is an experience I am SO grateful to have had- even though I was so upset and it was so hard and I don't wish it upon anyone. Because of the experience I have a special love for the women around me who go through this. And because you are going through this I KNOW that Heavenly Father will have you be a comforter as well to those other sisters who need you so much. You understand them because you have gone through it. You understand their needs and have a sensitivity for them that only one who experiences this can truly have. You will be a tool in His hands to care for his daughters. I know it's difficult to see the the light through the fog- but your post was beautiful and I can see that you have the right attitude- this truly is a blessing in disguise. :) We will keep you in our prayers.
PS- I'm a believer that we will be able to raise those we have lost in the womb in the next life. If you think about it, you have two little ones waiting for you to raise them when your life on earth is over :)
Love,
Stephanie Bates
Stephanie its been so long, im so happy to see that you are doing so well. And thank you so much for your thoughtful and heartfelt comment. What you said made me tear up..I didnt even think of the impact I can now have on other womens lives by being a comfort to them. Thanks for helping me realize that. Ive always been so thankful for the ladies who have come and comforted me with the same pain theyve had. I absolutely believe we have babies waiting for us :) You are so wonderful, thank you again
DeleteThanks for sharing this Jessie. You are so strong and so right in every particular! You and Chase are in our prayers!
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